When children throw fits or temper tantrums the key is not to give in to them. A tantrum is when the child still has some what control over his/her behaviour. Especially if they are throwing the tantrum in public. Obviously the parents are embarrassed and do not now how to react but if they focus on what other people think about the situation, they will become more uncomfortable They are waiting and watching for the parents, attention, to this kind of behaviour. Once the parent gives in, the child automatically gets the power to do as he/she pleases whenever they want because they know that they have the power. Let me give you an example from behavioural therapy. The child wants a cookie, she has eaten 4 already and the parent does not want to give her the fifth one. She yells and starts throwing a tantrum for another cookie. There are two options in this scenario. Either the parent can put the cookie jar out of the child’s vision, or he/she can introduce some distraction, children generally like shiny objects or they like to be engaged in some kind of activity. The parents can try playing a game with them, and their attention will be diverted and they will eventually forget about why they were throwing the tantrum in the first place. Children have the attention of a butterfly; therefore, it is very easy to distract their mind.

Children have to be trained for years together to behave in the desired fashion. As the developmental stage progresses, children may start asserting their own views as to what is right or wrong. That is when the child’s conscious starts growing. Each individual has their own moral principles and the standards that they have to live up too. For example, one wouldn’t want their child to yell and scream, in front of guests. Often parents have to teach their kids, what is “appropriate behaviour”.

Parents however must not be unreasonable and have high standards expected out of the child. After all they are children, they are bound to make mistakes. So instead of scolding them, or punishing them, effective behavioural techniques on the parent’s part will alter the behaviour on the child’s part.

Parents need to maintain a calm attitude no matter what. If they also lose it, then the condition becomes worse. They have to be chilled out, under stressful situations. Parents do not want any kind of power struggle or competition between them and their children.

About The Expert:
Tara Sheth is our Expert at Brainsmith. She is currently pursuing Masters in Education with a specialisation in Child Psychology from Columbia University, New York City, United States. Previously she has worked as a per-primary teacher and she loves children and is enthusiastic to work with them.